It seemed ironic that shortly after my recent mortality awareness course (the Heart Surgeon insisted on calling it a Quadruple Heart Bypass but for me it was more than that) that I should be invited to deliver the Eulogy at the funeral of a good friend who after a long illness had beaten me across the threshold of deaths ever open door.
For me it’s crucial to know as much about my audience as possible which is why I spent quite a bit of time talking and listening to the immediate family prior to the service. It was important to understand what type of Eulogy they wanted, who would be attending and to ask them to share important memories. It turned out some of the memories were a bit naughty so I also spoke to the vicar who would be conducting the service. No problem. She had spent some time as a military chaplain so had degree in broad mindedness.
The family wanted, in priority order, a celebration of the long life, wonderful marriage and career of my good pal. They had quite enough detail about his illness and the suffering it had caused and didn’t want that experience dwelling on.
Perhaps the most special laughter I have ever generated happened at that service. Special because much of it came from the daughters of my old friend in the coffin.
Afterwards it was humbling and inspirational to receive a lot of positive feedback including from the funeral director who said it was the best Eulogy he had ever heard and added “and I go to a lot of funerals”. Well he would wouldn’t he? He added that the Eulogy is often the centre piece of the funeral and that many people are too emotional to deliver one and he has seen many who have tried and broken down when the moment came.
This was not my first eulogy, but it was the one that inspired me to add Eulogies to my public speaking portfolio at www.terrythespeaker.com
Let me introduce you to one of my favourite Eulogies. It was given by John Cleese at a private memorial service at Saint Bartholomew’s in December 1989 to celebrate the life of Graham Chapman, a fellow Python who had died tragically young at the age of 48. The eulogy is featured on the Marie Curie web site. You can get a flavour of how Mr. Cleese went about his task that day via this link
Graham Chapman’s Eulogy by John Cleese – YouTube
As stated earlier it’s important to know your audience and understand what is wanted so whilst his approach may not be for everyone John Cleese already knew he would be talking to fellow Pythons, Comedians and show business personalities and he delivered in some style.
If you would like to know more about how I go about celebrating a life please get in touch (whilst we are both still around) by messaging me or via my web site www.terrythespeaker.com
